What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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