At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize