Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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