This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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