champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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