Buhtt sex?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
