time to smoke my breakfast
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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