I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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