Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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