Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
