Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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