he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
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Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
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Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This is my gift to your gina
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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