Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
