I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
