By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
