Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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