I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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