the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I deserve this hangover.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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