id be glad to
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
