help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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