i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
