oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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