No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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