I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
