I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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