he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
be right there i have to get my cape
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
