Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
