high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
