do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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