my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
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We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
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We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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