found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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