I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
