I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
