we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
