Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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