Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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