I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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