I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
