he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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