Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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