There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Floor bacon is actually really good
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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