loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
