The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
