I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
