i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
