I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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