And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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