I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Why is your signature on my underwear?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
