There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
