His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
