Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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