NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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