you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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