it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
