I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
