After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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